My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
