under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
