the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
