Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
