you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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