just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
