I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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