vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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