wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize