My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
