Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
