I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize