did you get engaged???
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
