My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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