they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
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Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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