Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
