Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
