OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he was CRYING into my vagina
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
