his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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