I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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