we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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