yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you had me at cake vodka
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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