I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
