Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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