shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
