Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
