we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
