if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
