we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
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He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize