sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
