hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
