Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
