He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
