Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Two words: nipple clamps
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