I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she smelled like a LAN party
smell my finger.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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