my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
