its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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