A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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