Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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