you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
