I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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