Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
