I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
