I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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