i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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