she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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