Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize