She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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