this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
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