West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
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