I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
