You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
