belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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