It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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