Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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