i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
