Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
