Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
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she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
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We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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