We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
