Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
